Live life better.
My cell group meeting always brings a good reflection. This time is about childfree topic.
Where somebody asked if it defies biblically. And somebody that is predictably conservative somehow mentions that wanting to be childless is expected from this egoistic selfish generation that only wants to focus on themselves.
Can I say, RIP perspective?
First, be calm, I am definitely not disappointed and discouraged by how narrow/close minded/ judgmental this group be along the way. I can assure you that I don't say this in sarcastic manner.
Second, no, I won't resign from this group and find another that is more respectful to different point of views.
Because there will never be. There will always be a judgmental person in the group. Whenever it is or whatever the group it is. Yes, even to a close tight circle of friends.
In all fairness, before I rant and be judgmental about their judgments, I humbly admit that I used to (and am tho I try so hard to be open minded as open as I can) also quick to judge.
However, as my age adds up, books read, convos with lots people from different background, I understand now that the best way to live a life is to wear one's shoes.
Or simply discover where they are coming from.
So let's go back to the premise that
a) Choosing to be childfree is a biblical defiance.
They mentioned there's a verse that commands human to fill the earth and increase in number, hence if we choose to be childless, do we rebel? I want to cry and laugh at the same time.
Plus point, that people argue in kind manner so it's fine and I successfully held myself to not snap back with facts that Jesus disciples were not even married (which is also commanded in the Bible no?).
The Great Commission also commands us to speak the great news to everyone, but do we respect and follow as thorough as society demands offspring?
To justify, one of reasons that I choose to "defy the Bible commands" is to be able to focus in ministry. Although it's not perfect excuse that having children will reduce your contribution, but I just want to give 200% contribution - childless, than 100% with child. So do I still defy the command?
b) Choosing to be childfree is egoistic.
Well I agree, that might be the case. I want to pay fully attention to my wants and needs, not additional family members pop up after 9 months of difficult times. Even 2 days of first days period is very torturing for me.
They might say, other women can do it why I can't. Well that's their choice, that's their body, I don't bother when somebody chooses to feel burn and get saggy boobs, why people have to bother of what I choose for my body?
Again, the idea of social constructed standard (get married at certain age or having babies) really fails me. Life is short, why oh why oh why we get to bother what most of human do to validate our existence and humanity?
After all, are we always encouraged to be ourselves, be unique as none can be us better, so why we got to be molded with humanize ice cube maker?
Anyway, believe me, although above might sound angry, I am not. I pity the quick to judge, and demanding conservative society.
I have a set of belief that I hold very strongly. I used to scrutinize and dissect every people that are not compliant to my believe. I argue with them, report them to my same-thoughts fella, just to get validated that my I am sane, righteous and valid, whereas they are aliens.
That, obviously, doesn't add an inch of happiness and relief. Just like some people that condemn those who don't wanna get vaccine, whatever the reason is. I don't think they feel at peace that much questioning why anti-vaccine are themselves.
Why bother?
They don't want to get vaccine, perhaps they are waiting for some type of vaccine, or they want to die from corona instead of cancer or aids, or they just want to be different, you know what, let them be.
Life 101
The first point to be written in Life 101 is that see where people coming from. Deep dive to their perspective. If you can understand, it's good. It helps you to make peace of why something in the world will never be accordance with your expectations.
If you can't understand, nod and smile. Simply, don't bother. It's their life, not yours. No one really knows how to do life perfectly and politically technically practically correct, we are not the creator of life so clearly we don't have any rights to judge and appraise somebody else's, let alone direct theirs.
So please, let's nod and smile to everything that doesn't click with your belief. It saves your from headache of unanswered questions, annoyance and irritations. It's one way to live life better.
Disclaimer
So perhaps I kind of contradict my point to nod and smile on people's perspective by dedicating a blogpost to rant. Perhaps I am, but at least I dont spend my saliva, energy to move my vocal cords and argue anymore. I just complain behind the scene through writings and settle my judgmental mind.
Ok goodbye.
