About 2019

As written above, I predicted that I gotta learn about seizing my day in 2019. And I did. 

Not like usual, I was carrying a big resolution entering 2019. I was so in confidence that if I crossed my heart that resolution would come true. But it didn't. Or perhaps it did but not in a way that I expected. 

Somehow I can link my only three posts in 2019 to what really happened in the year. 

1) Bad haircut - when haircut didn't turn out the way you expected it to be; 

2) Is it 6 or 9 - work on perspective, I told God wants me to X but actually He wants me to learn U and V first; 

3) Ask and Question - written on the lowest point in my life where insecurity beat me, where I was disappointed after the 1) and 2) happened. 

One mistake I did was to hold on the ideal resolution so tightly until it burned me back. I fought to make it work, to show people I can nail my resolution, and to validate myself of being capable. 

When I learned to take a moment and savor my life, I came to utmost gratefulness of how blessed I am to be able to do things I like (work, side jobs, hobbies, ministry, etc), financially independent, able to be around people I like. I can see my glass is completely full. On December, my weekends were filled with gatherings and activities which sometimes I didn't know how I could have such energy and efforts to do them all. But then I understand it's from the love overflowing in my life that God has blessed me with everything so I am able to share back the love and affection for all of them. 

During the taking moment journey, I learned the hard way to let go and release stuff that may not fit. As someone who trained to tackle everything, I was bumped to find that my plan doesn't work and I got to adjust by getting rid out some stuffs that actually still spark joy for me. 

So my resolution in 2020 is to release my self, and let God reigns; fight less surrender more. I know it's classic but it would be a legit savior in time of desperation.