Ask(v.) | Question(v.)

Have you ever asked God? 

Have you ever questioned God? 

Here lies the beauty of English - depth of context within its vocabulary. In Indonesian, both just mean the same, to look for information. Merriam Webster broadens the latter to "doubt, uncertain, dispute" from its main definition. 

Asking is like a kid asking, "Mom, why is it raining? I hate rain, I cannot go out and play." Mom answered, "It's okay honey, farmer uncle needs rain to grow the farm." That kid answered, "Oh is that so? Well, okay." 

Questioning is like a kid asking, "Mom, why is it raining? I hate rain, I cannot go out and play." Mom answered, "It's okay honey, farmer uncle needs rain to grow the farm." That kid answered, "Why must be today? Can the farmer find another way to water the plants? He ruined my day! How 'bout tomorrow? Does he still need the rain? Then, when I can play outside?!"

Well, definitely not a potayto-potahto. 

For some phases in my life, I did not just ask for information, I was in doubt, uncertain about my situation. I was mad and upset about what is on my plate. Just like the kid questioning his mom, I hold an unsettled dissatisfaction and disapproval of my situation. I feel like I have checked all to do list and comprehended the basic theological things about waiting, self-contentment, God knows best, etc. I have done my homework yet I haven't got any sunny day. 

12 credits of theology, straight A - by the way, has taught me that God is an omnipotent presence whose mind beyond lowly human. How could creatures understand their creator (forget AI, ok)? I remember clearly my theology lecture said, "To be able to understand God is like getting a small hole to hold all sands in the middle of the desert" Other words, God is too almighty to be understood by worldly humans.

A kid is clueless. He only knows to fulfill himself playing outside and has no wisdom to understand why rain is essential in human life. I am not that kid. Life experiences should have brought me to wisdom and security that there is a rainbow after the rain. I just need to release, trust and enjoy the time. 

Kid, maybe this is the time for you to stay at home watching and learning with Dora on TV or doing your homework before you run out of the house and forget the time playing outside... But there's always a kid at heart who just cannot resist going outside even its raining, playing in the middle of the rain and back home with flu. I am that kid, the second kid, knowing but regretting, shouting inside blaming and protesting of four walls separating me from what seems joy of the outside world. 

When is this rain going to stop? I have done my homework, can I just get a chance to play outside? I saw other kids who got even worse grades and haven't done their homework are just nonchalantly playing football, can I play too? I promise will get back home early and be such better kids..... Please...