You might think this as a self-consolation post, but..
is it really..?
3 months before the year ends, these came to me: omg, my friends... X got engaged, Y is pregnant, Z has been married for few months now, Q's kid is on preschool, M just got promotion. WHERE ON EARTH AM I STILL? Am I the one who not moving forward whereas everybody seems work their way off.
But my positive bright side came to the rescue. Hello! I got quite achievements also this year:
1. My boss just released "Cindy's Expansion Role" (as there's no career ladder for PA perhaps HA!).
This must be a milestone for me as I remember last year was the darkest part of my life where my self-actualization had nothing to cling on. Now at least, #ilovemyjob.
2. The dreading India trip finally come closer and manage to gather its squad. I might conquer (and I really did) the country that is frowned upon.
3. This year I finally learned how to get rid of oily part in my lunch box.
Realized this when I washed my dishes and was able to clean my lunch box whereas last year I highly looked up the training student who helped me to wash my lunch box and cleaned it perfectly. Secret unlocked: flowing water while scrubbing the part with soap.
I should not complain, I indeed feel better and happier than last year. Everything is perfectly fine.
Am I self-consoling?
Society doesn't let me feel happy and content that easy, apparently. In Indonesia, general idea push young ladies to think mid 20s is the time to settle down. Marriage has now stretched from personal resolution to social judgement of life happiness and success.
Great career but still single on 30s? Oh, perhaps she has a bad personality! No, she is just too choosy! Well, I heard she hasn't let go her previous boyfriend. Oh, poor she is! She must be lonely.
Wedding has blurred from personal romantic memento to commodity people commercialize and bench-marked by society's expectation.
It can take you 2 hours to just sign marriage certificate and blessing ceremony and congrats you are now newlyweds or a year for 3-5 rituals (engagement, pre-wed, pre-engagement, tea ceremony, reception, pre-reception, after reception, after party, before party, whatever and so on). Ok, it's still personal romantic memento tho.
So I realized this should not be continued. This - how we only can be certified happy by when we are getting married and holding baby. This - how we can be defined success by where and how we hold our wedding.
Everybody's time and priority and self-actualization factors are different. This is what needs to be deeply understood, what season of time are you on? There are people who will be happy for starting their own family early. It's understandable and I'm not opposed to it. There are also people who will be full with set of achievement and projects engraved on their LinkedIn and CV.
Today, about 2 months since that first self-questioning thought came to me, and 2 weeks after my lifetime adventure to India: I, in the most humble attitude, truly validate and authorize my sincere life contentment of current being.
There's no any regret of being single for 26 years even without feasible prospect up until now. I am not ready to have my own house and manage every single bills and cleanliness. I am not keen to feed, pamper, and calm crying baby. I don't even enjoy being around kids! I am not yet prepared to take care of my other half where there are still a lot of things I want to do and places I want to visit. There are still I on my sentence and on my life where I need to clear before the next big things coming up.
More mature ones could defense we always can travel with our spouse and it doesnt mean the world ends when we are having our family or committed relationship - it might get more fun and fullfilling with loved ones on your side discovering life!
But who can deny additional responsibility and extra efforts to be made when there is special figure now filling in your heart and subscribed into your life? Childish soul of me is now curling up at the corner terrified. At the moment, this part of adulting is just not for me.
Society doesnt know what I am having on my plate now, where I am going to, what I am longing for. So they dont have a voice in deciding my level of happiness and life actualization. There's no regret, there's no hole in my life, I am totally absolutely full.
Conclusion is there's always season for everything: season to be single, season to be committed. You Only Live Once, they say, so no other advice is better than just to enjoy and live the fullest every moment of where you are on right now.
You might think this as a self-consolation post, but it truly comes from my heart.
At least for now.
3 months before the year ends, these came to me: omg, my friends... X got engaged, Y is pregnant, Z has been married for few months now, Q's kid is on preschool, M just got promotion. WHERE ON EARTH AM I STILL? Am I the one who not moving forward whereas everybody seems work their way off.
But my positive bright side came to the rescue. Hello! I got quite achievements also this year:
1. My boss just released "Cindy's Expansion Role" (as there's no career ladder for PA perhaps HA!).
This must be a milestone for me as I remember last year was the darkest part of my life where my self-actualization had nothing to cling on. Now at least, #ilovemyjob.
2. The dreading India trip finally come closer and manage to gather its squad. I might conquer (and I really did) the country that is frowned upon.
3. This year I finally learned how to get rid of oily part in my lunch box.
Realized this when I washed my dishes and was able to clean my lunch box whereas last year I highly looked up the training student who helped me to wash my lunch box and cleaned it perfectly. Secret unlocked: flowing water while scrubbing the part with soap.
I should not complain, I indeed feel better and happier than last year. Everything is perfectly fine.
Am I self-consoling?
Society doesn't let me feel happy and content that easy, apparently. In Indonesia, general idea push young ladies to think mid 20s is the time to settle down. Marriage has now stretched from personal resolution to social judgement of life happiness and success.
Great career but still single on 30s? Oh, perhaps she has a bad personality! No, she is just too choosy! Well, I heard she hasn't let go her previous boyfriend. Oh, poor she is! She must be lonely.
Wedding has blurred from personal romantic memento to commodity people commercialize and bench-marked by society's expectation.
It can take you 2 hours to just sign marriage certificate and blessing ceremony and congrats you are now newlyweds or a year for 3-5 rituals (engagement, pre-wed, pre-engagement, tea ceremony, reception, pre-reception, after reception, after party, before party, whatever and so on). Ok, it's still personal romantic memento tho.
So I realized this should not be continued. This - how we only can be certified happy by when we are getting married and holding baby. This - how we can be defined success by where and how we hold our wedding.
Everybody's time and priority and self-actualization factors are different. This is what needs to be deeply understood, what season of time are you on? There are people who will be happy for starting their own family early. It's understandable and I'm not opposed to it. There are also people who will be full with set of achievement and projects engraved on their LinkedIn and CV.
Today, about 2 months since that first self-questioning thought came to me, and 2 weeks after my lifetime adventure to India: I, in the most humble attitude, truly validate and authorize my sincere life contentment of current being.
There's no any regret of being single for 26 years even without feasible prospect up until now. I am not ready to have my own house and manage every single bills and cleanliness. I am not keen to feed, pamper, and calm crying baby. I don't even enjoy being around kids! I am not yet prepared to take care of my other half where there are still a lot of things I want to do and places I want to visit. There are still I on my sentence and on my life where I need to clear before the next big things coming up.
More mature ones could defense we always can travel with our spouse and it doesnt mean the world ends when we are having our family or committed relationship - it might get more fun and fullfilling with loved ones on your side discovering life!
But who can deny additional responsibility and extra efforts to be made when there is special figure now filling in your heart and subscribed into your life? Childish soul of me is now curling up at the corner terrified. At the moment, this part of adulting is just not for me.
Society doesnt know what I am having on my plate now, where I am going to, what I am longing for. So they dont have a voice in deciding my level of happiness and life actualization. There's no regret, there's no hole in my life, I am totally absolutely full.
Conclusion is there's always season for everything: season to be single, season to be committed. You Only Live Once, they say, so no other advice is better than just to enjoy and live the fullest every moment of where you are on right now.
You might think this as a self-consolation post, but it truly comes from my heart.
At least for now.