26 | BEEN THERE DONE THAT
Xx
things you should do before xx, xx stuffs will help you go through your xx, xx
life advice you should know to help you go through your xx, and so on. I had typed
some judgmental comments on how mainstream and repetitious those kind of
article on internet. Yet, I decided to delete as I’m going to write one for
myself on this perceived special day.
1.
Disconnected
from the social media and social cyber, at least for a day.
I was partially disconnected from digital world. Other than
for gulping informative articles, and bit YouTube; 4 hours from now I can be
proud, that I have cleared from any kind of social media and messenger for a straight
24 hours. I was even on airplane mode the whole day.
Result: it was fantastic, I kind of feel refreshed: not being
distracted by messages, or constantly checking on IG. Apparently, most of time
we have unconsciously exploited our eye and brain to keep being alert and
updated by all those digital media and information, and striving to balance in
two worlds: digital and real one. It’s tiring and unknowingly, stressful.
Today, I can totally focus on one real world by leaving my phone at home, I can
assure you, it will feel like 100 kg of baggage that you have been carrying by
default is taken and you just feel… light.
Well, the FOMO is real though: what if I missed my fav
influencers IG stories, or missed my friends’ congratulating. Then simple hours
counting on my head assured their contents must still be available the next
morning. So yeah, it’s not really hard to do 24 hours anyway, maybe next year I
should do 48 hours.
There’s a question what if someone gives money to stay in
total secluded and disconnected place for a month, I now have the confidence to
say I can subscribe to it! In condition, they give me book or movie though.
2.
Stress
and pressure breakdown –
For being work too hard. But since I’m young and capable, no
one awaits me at home, to avoid regrets, I do everything for the best.
Result: rejected my friends’ asking me out. Laid down
hopelessly every weekend after week of hustling.
3.
–
realized money, career don’t so much matter anymore.
Family does. How happy you are does. Healthy soul, mind and body
does, the most.
Result: live freely.
4.
Been
online and had stranger meet up.
Live in this digital era, I don’t really understand why being
on online (dating) app and meeting strangers are still frowned upon by several
people. Hello, you rent strangers’ houses, and take strangers’ rides, what’s
the different eh? Up until today, mine has been at least hundreds (500?) chats
and 11 meet ups.
Result: meeting someone outside usual social circle always
brings new fresh stories and lights some new bulbs.
5.
Had a
fulfilled period of being single.
It doesn’t matter how you decipher
the period, twenty six (for me) or few years (for most) or few months (for
some), it’s really important to have your free single happy time. In the next
few years, you will be attached to whom you call soulmate or partner, and later
a new small kingdom of yours will be on your hand to be taken care of. No
matter how you love being attached or having a family, there will be a time you
must feel overwhelmed with all those respected duties. Hence, live a truly
fulfilled life with yourself as much as you can, do – learn – travel whatever
in your bucket list, pamper yourself as great as you want to, since you have
none (less) to be responsible for.
Result: it may sound narcisstic,
but I’m wonderfully in love with myself. Well, in more normal way to say, I
consider myself having a pretty high of self-worth. According to psychology,
before one dedicated oneself to someone else, one must first love and dedicate
to oneself as a self-wall and protection in case the upcoming may hurt and let
one down. Checked.
6.
Got
drunk and hangover.
Threw up carbonara all over bathroom floor and yet still
managed to clean it up. Since it was my first, I got to google how to overcome
that banging headache in the morning after.
Result: drink lot of water – now I know how to overcome
hangover and save my face in front my kids.
7.
Travelled
with family, without tour group.
Most of articles put “solo travelling” here. Well, it’s true,
it’s challenging and perhaps, eye-opening. But travelling with your family
especially a big age gap exists within, will be another must-take challenge.
Well, at least for me.
Being the leader and the decision maker, also prophet, to
guess and consider lots of factor, whether they are tired, or would they like
this or that, can be truly self-developing. On top of all, you can always
travelling solo anytime, but with your parents, there’s a deadline for it.
Result: learned so much about tolerance, serving, and
sacrificing your preference for the group.
8. Been
in point zero –
Where you were placed in lowest of your life and feel that your
life was a waste. Reaching a certain age, an eagle will tremendously suffer
picking out his all body feather. The purpose is to grow new stronger feather. It’s
his time to metamorphose. If he doesn’t go through this rough phase as not
wanting to hurt himself and unable to feel the terrible pain, then he wouldn’t
live for long as his existing feather wouldn’t be able to afford his growing
body. After the dreadful transformation, he would go up the mountain, and fly
higher than he ever was.
Result: I grow stronger, learn more and better, and become (a
bit) more compassionate and considerate.
9.
–
successfully passed through it.
I am blessed to be able to pass my point zero in short time.
Other may have this zero point longer.
Result: I am equipped with a new set of hope to arm me for
greater challenges in future. When you have passed the worst, the other next
will be seen less difficult.
10.
Lived
overseas.
Joked in different language, be friend with different
culture, took metro, rode bicycle to commute, wore those cool wool coats, be
seen as different and object of curiosity.
Result: Realize that I’m only the tiny dot in the middle of
greater world.
11.
Became
top of the class.
Then being acknowledge in front of the public. But more than
the result, the process itself is what will develop you. Nailed it in junior
high, high school, and uni. Oh I’m such a nerd!
Result: reason to be pretentious, once in a while.
12.
Did
something effortful for the special someone.
Had heart stolen and felt as in seventh heaven. Here’s my
money, take it; here’s my time and full effort and wholehearted handmade gift.
Four (or five?) time-taking and handwritten letters are the evident.
Result: at least, my creativity juice was pumped up. As well
as my dopamine juice.
13.
Broken
hearted.
Result: excuse to smack down those sinful chocolate and
desserts, and it’s one rare time melancholy songs or drama can be so relatable.
14.
Did
menial works.
Like being Grab driver, or serving breakfast, or
housekeeping, or laundry lady.
Result: compassionate.
15.
Performed
in public.
Danced in congregations, played piano in wedding party,
public speaking in front of people older and more experienced.
Result: space to improve, and confidence.
16.
Organized
event.
Christmas gathering, weekend hangouts, games, quiz, anything,
it’s mostly a good time to control others #controlfreak.
Result: making others laugh apparently just feel better than
having yourself laugh. Not to mention, being the game master saves you from
losing the game, well, as you are the game maker #competitive.
17.
Moved
job.
Dipped into the new pool. Being introduced then awkwardly
smiled repeated name over and over again. Guessed who are the friends, who are
the foes. Felt alienated. Overwhelmed by new systems and (seems like) hardcore
tasks.
Result: after several months, those feelings above is just
refreshing.
18.
Changed
hairstyle.
Hagrid/ahjumma – checked.
Cartoon Marukochan – checked.
Attempted Korean star/mother singer – checked.
Result: looked 46 when I was 23, and looked 22 when I was 26.
Now there’s difference between when I was 16, 22, and 26.
19.
Travelled
with friends. And strangers.
NOTE: do this as
much as you can before the thought of your kids’ tuition fee, house’s
electricity bill haunt you. This kind of travel is the best style one!
Everything feels cheaper as you only pay for your portion. It’s also nice to
have partner in crime. With stranger, you will also learn how to tolerate,
compromise, and collaborate.
Result: collection of overseas photoshoot!
20.
Invested
and saved some money.
Starting this year I allocate my savings, petty cash, and
everything in advance, and save into separate accounts. Advice from my friend,
you still do not save enough money if you still enjoy a good petty cash.
Result: being young and having some pleasing number in your
account book – how would you think it’s gonna feel?
21.
Paid
(half) for your parents’ travel.
It’s not easy, but same with travelling with them, a certain
deadline is up right there.
Result: respect.
22.
Kicked
some old best friend(s).
No one’s fault though. Like a branch of tree, people just
grow to different angle and sides.
Result: learned how to let go and improve, and finally
understand the law of expiration.
23.
Found
new best friend.
Some articles say that as we grow older, circle of friends
will become smaller and we might not be able to find new close friend. Well,
it’s not wrong, but not absolutely true.
Result: more adventures to come!
24.
Went
for luxury things.
One third of a month minimum wage for 3 hours dining. 16 year
old of me would have thought I was hypnotized.
Result: rather than bags or shoes, it is worth it. After all
experience lingers longer than stuffs.
25.
Having
a Cornerstone.
I am never alone and never dead ended.
Result: broke down but never casted down
26.
So content with life.
After a long life learning.
Result: supposed to be ready to embark 27 and so.